Some days being a stay-at-home mom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Any stay-at-home mom would agree that she loves being able to be with her children. Most would also agree that it is wonderful to be able to spend that time with your kiddos, see them change and grow, and to be able to be that first teacher. However, those moms would probably also say that some days they want to run away screaming and that some days going to a ‘job’ would be easier. At least they would if they were being candid with you.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being a stay-at-home mom. I love being available for field trips, volunteering in the classroom, and to attempt to get things done around the house. (though honestly, the same things keep needing to be done. It is very self-defeating.)
What I don’t like? The idea that people have of a stay-at-home mom.
There is this stereotypical ideal of a stay-at-home mom that people have come up with. This woman is a spoiled, bonbon eating woman who watches soaps all day, is always well groomed, and doesn’t do any “work”.
In reality, I am a stay-at-home mom. This ‘title’ is deceiving though as I am not able to stay at home most of the time. There is always errands to run, volunteering to be done, appointments to go to or bring the kids to, and drop offs to do. I do spend some time at home, but between the running and being at home, I don’t have much adult interaction overall and it leaves me grasping for any adult conversation that I can get. For example, when I go to drop Cassie at her friend’s house and then spend 3 hours talking to the mom, I think I need more adult interaction. The walls, for some reason, don’t provide any kind of intellectual conversation. While I don’t hold many intellectual conversations, it would be nice to talk about things with someone who understands the words that I do use.
I may be spoiled by having a family that love me and a husband that believes that we are in this life together and works with me, helps me out, and understands my quirks. Other then that though I don’t feel that I’m spoiled. I definitely don’t eat bonbons. In fact I have trouble eating lunch everyday. I’ve been working very hard at eating lunch to try to get my metabolism back on track. It isn’t easy when I have no one else to feed. (also working on the taking care of myself instead of my normal take care of the kids and husband only)
Moving onto the soap watching. Who has time for it? For the most part I have music as my background noise and the tv is off until the rest of the family gets home and Andy turns it on.
I have to chuckle at the well groomed part also. I mean, are you kidding? Jeans and one of my 7 or so t-shirts are my uniform and at times a shower almost feels like a luxury. Every morning I put my contacts in and pull my hair into a ponytail. How’s that for well groomed?
Also, contrary to popular depiction on tv, I don’t hang out with other stay-at-home moms having glasses of wine at noon while the young children play quietly. See…being a stay-at-home mom isn’t so glamorous.
The thing that bothers me the most about being a stay-at-home mom? Is the stereotype that people have formed that stay-at-home moms don’t ‘work’. I understand that we don’t go to a 9-5 job and that we are at ‘home’ all day. However, we don’t get to go home from our job, we don’t get to leave a bad day behind, we can’t strike, quit, or transfer. It is the same thing every day and our bosses are, for the most part, demanding and whiny beings that won’t stop calling us “mom”.
Our jobs are 24/7/365. There is no calling in sick. There is no running away screaming. Sure if you are a working mom, you come home to your children. But there is that break from the kids and then that break from the job. When you are a stay-at-home mom there is no break. It is the only job where you have to take care of you bosses when they are sick and clean up their vomit, poop, and messes. It is the only job where your boss screams “I hate you!” or “you are the worse mom ever!” (mind you, for me, those haven’t happened yet. Yet…) It is the only job where you have to sit for hours and help with homework that is painstaking and excruciating.
Now, to sum this up. I absolutely love being a stay-at-home mom. Even though at times I want to pull my hair out. However, I hate what people think of stay-at-home moms. I hate that people think that it isn’t work and that what they do is so much better. Stay-at-home moms are looked down on and treated like they are women that are spoiled, spend their days eating bonbons while watching soaps, and are well-groomed women who don’t do a darn thing.
There are days that I’d rather have a job and be able to separate family and work some. However, I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home and work as a stay-at-home mom. I have many hats and jobs. I am a teacher. I am a tutor. I am a maid. I am a laundry service. I am a dishwasher. I am a cook. I am a counselor. I am a best friend. I am a confidant. I am so many other things, but to simply put it…I am a stay-at-home mom and I’m proud of how hard I work.