You know the feeling where you feel like you were punched in the stomach and you can’t seem to breathe anymore?
How about the feeling where you want to cry/scream but you can’t because your heart in your throat?
That feeling of complete panic? Not knowing what to do next? Wishing you could twitch your nose and magically have all your family by your side and know that they are safe?
I had all these feelings today.
I had lunch with Becky today and during our lunch I recieved a call from a number I didn’t recongnize. I decided not to answer…if it was something important they’d leave a message after all. Right?
On my way home from dropping Becky back off at work I listened to the message. Here is what it said verbatim,
“Hi this is St Vincent’s Emergency Center calling for the parents of Cassandra. If you could please give us a call back at 123-4567 when you get this message. Thank you.”
My adrenaline went through the roof and my mind raced as to what was going on. Scenarios flew through my head as I returned the call. I was then put on hold as they tracked down a nurse. Do you have any idea how long those moments were???
A nurse finally came to the phone and I informed who I was. My adreneline was pumping so hard that I felt numb. Then the nurse told me that she had further results from the tests Cassie had done when we visited the ER this past Saturday.
I was almost too relieved to even hear what the nurse was saying. All I wanted to do was cry from the relief that washed up and over me. Cassie is safe. She isn’t hurt. Or sick. Or dying. She is safe and not at the hospital.
After I thanked the nurse and hung up I called my mom and relayed the story as I just about sobbed. I was just so relieved. All those emotions of complete and utter fear came rushing out as I talked.
Part of me wanted to drive to the school and request to see Cassie so that I could just see her and know for a fact that she was okay. I wanted to hug her just to feel her against me. Instead I waited until she got home and then I held her for a bit silently thanking God for giving her to me and keeping her safe for another day.
It is amazing how one phone call can scare you so much, run you through so many emotions, and remind you just how much you love someone. Tonight I was a bit more patient with the girls as I was just thankful that they were both safe, sound, and within hugging distance.