Where’ve I been?

I wish that I was more diligent when it came to posting.

I don’t think about it.  And when I do I just can’t seem to find anything to write about.

Sure things are going on.  We’ve been keeping quite busy, but I don’t know how to write about it.

I’ve been struggling.  My get up and go – it got up and went.  I have no ompf.  I look around and see what I need to get done, but getting there is an entirely different thing.

The house is not by any means clean or organized and it really bothers me.  Yet, when I go to do anything about it…I can’t.  I can’t get things under control and instead of driving me to try harder, it makes me want to dive under the covers and sleep it away.

I go about everyday as normal.  But not everything is normal.  I’m not enjoying things like usual.  I barely ever take pictures anymore and I use to have my camera in my hands at almost all times.  In fact, today is Christmas and I only took one picture.  How sad is that?

Everyday I put my “big girl panties” on and do what I have to get done.  But I don’t want to.  I want to get the girls off to school each day and then go back to bed.  I want the house to magically clean itself and for supper to magically appear on the table at the appropriate time.  And for that table to be clean when it does.

Winter is always rougher for me.  The shorter time of actual daylight does make my depression a little more profound.  The cold makes my arthritis flare up, which of course brings me down because it makes me feel so much older then I am.  I’m now on a pain med for the arthritis and we are trying to make some slight adjustments to my other meds.  We are attempting to find my motivation.  I’m hoping that in finding that and getting my home more under control it’ll help lift my spirits as well.

Until then I just keep swimming.  Moving forward and smiling.

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One Response to Where’ve I been?

  1. cafecasey says:

    Winter is ending though:) We can get those sunny days back. I always keep a notebook with me. I scribble and scrawl on that notebook. Then, when the time is right, an idea will strike true to me and I can write it up and blog. I have a marble composition book and a little tiny purse book. Hope you’re feeling better soon, but on the topic of photos, I take fewer lately because I notice that when I’m busy taking all the photos, I’m often missing the event itself.. Have a great new year:)

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